Today I pushed my son into his new school.
Actually, my husband had to pry his Vulcan Death Grip from my arms and wrangle himâ€”feet flailing, backpack tangling, tears waterfallingâ€”into his new classroom.
Then we had to leave, literally just walk away to the sounds of his wailing.
I got into my car and wailed for awhile myself.We never stop giving birth, do we? We never stop laboring. We never stop pushing our kids into new things – into greater independence from us. I know, logically, thatâ€™s where theyâ€™re supposed to be. But I must say that today I’d rather be with himâ€”snuggled up with cozy blankets and children’s books and chocolate milkâ€”than to walk away from him, to the sounds of his fears.
An anonymous Facebook follower recently made a comment on my author page. â€œGod is a fairy tale,â€ he posted.
I donâ€™t know if he was trying to incite something with me, but I do know that CS Lewis believed all fairy tales teach us to long for something beyond our reach.
They point to the only â€œfairy taleâ€ that is indeed true.
Tonight at bedtime, my son began to open up about his fears from the morning: â€œI didnâ€™t want you to leave and I was scared there were things in there that would hurt me.”
“But…” He continued, â€œthe bus was so awesome. I wish we had a bus instead of our car. And I made a craft pig out of different shapes. I canâ€™t wait to show it to you!â€
If God is a fairy tale, then I’m a believer.
I have faith in a God who helps my son slay his dragonsâ€¦and who helps me let go enough to let him.